Some words of wisdom from Married With Children:
KELLY: "Mom! Guess what? I'm in love. And wait till you meet him, he's perfect. He does the cutest things. We went down to this great new restaurant in new town. We ate everything on the menu, I mean, the most expensive stuff. Do you know what he did? He put a roach in the food and we didn't have to pay for anything."
PEGGY: "You're kidding! You know, that's amazing. I used to date a guy who did that. Yeah, now your father just takes me to restaurants where they have their own bugs."